Epic Athletic

What Went Down: JaMarcus Russell Adventure / Big Splash Strike

Posted by Epic Athletic Monday, July 26, 2010 0 comments

After long awaitment, the Pinckney's returned to competition this week completing two secondary sports: The JaMarcus Russell Adventure and The Big Splash Strike.

The JaMarcus Russell Adventure, a competition of gruelingly difficult QB accuracy tests, was a sport both competitors were in desperate need of as the competition remained tight. In stage one, cone taking outages, Matthew knocked over three out of the six cones for a 3 point completion of the stage. Joel, on the other hand, didn't. In the second and most difficult stage, the miniscule window bomb pass, Matthew landed the ball in the target three out of the 15 attempts for a total of 6 points in the competition. Joel, on the other hand, didn't. Matthew won by a margin of 6 points giving him a total of 40 points for the competition and a 35 point lead on the overall scoreboard.

The next day the Pinckney brothers competed in the Big Splash Strike. A team of 7 judges were assembled and the splashing began. The competition is split into 10 rounds. In each round both players take a jump and the judges decide who's splash was bigger in that individual round. The winner of the round gets a point. After completion of 10 rounds, the player with the most points wins. If players are tied at 5 - 5 after 10, sudden death rounds are played.

Matthew jumped to a powerful lead early on, leading 3-1 and then 4-2. With one more round-point he would prevent defeat in regulation, but suddenly, he hit cold. Joel's splashes became showy, and the judges liked his showiness. Matthew, frustrated and flustered, failed to respond. Joel won three rounds in a row, putting Matthew in a do-or-die situation. Joel jumped first, displacing an impressive amount of water. Matthew took a deep breath and pounded off the board like a stampede of wild elephants across the plains of Africa. He hit the water with authority and bested Joel's previous splash, sending the competition into overtime.

Matthew jumped first in overtime and completely shanked his splash, putting in a terrible round. It looked like the win for Joel but in an interesting turn of events, Joel shanked a jump as well. The judges decided that both jumps were equally bad, taking the game into double overtime. This time Joel jumped first and won cheers from the judges with a powerful dislocation of aqua. But Matthew wasn't intimidated. He finally brought his A-game to the pool taking the round, and the competition, giving himself 25 points; no points for a margin of victory.

After a lead change in each consecutive competition since the end of Basketball, Matthew was finally able to maintain hold a lead for two competitions, extending his lead to 60 points; putting the scoreboard at Matthew; 330 : Joel; 270.

More Delays

Posted by Epic Athletic Tuesday, July 13, 2010 0 comments

As I'm sure many of you have noticed, it has been more than 30 days since the beginning of the competition. The Epic committee was perhaps a little too overzealous in making that goal, not factoring in work schedules and other time commitments. Further more, Joel is out of town this week at summer camp, so there won't be any more competitions at least until Friday and probably not till Sunday.

As you've probably figured by now, this competition is gonna take all summer. So hang tight and hang on; there's a lot more Epicness coming your way.

What Went Down: LeBron James Adventure, LeBron Cup Combine

Posted by Epic Athletic Monday, July 12, 2010 0 comments

The day after LeBron James made his "decision" the Pinckney competitors hit the yard for the LeBron James events. However, since LeBron James' move was lame and unclassy, the Epic committee agreed to strip LeBron of the honor of having an Epic sport named after him. For the remainder of this post the events will be referred to as The Adventure and the Cup-Combine.

The day was kicked off with The Adventure as Matthew started the event. He navigated it like the true Adventurer he is, having little trouble with the difficult stairs portion and speeding around the pool and the sidewalk. He finished with a powerful time of 3-33; one he felt confident Joel could not touch.

Joel, the less experienced Adventurer, struggled particularly going up and down the stairs, an extremely difficult part of the course. He made mistakes that cost him oodles of time, finishing far behind the bigger Matthew with a time of 4-10, allowing Matthew to max-out in points and retake the lead.

The big man felt confident going into the Cup-Combine, believing he could extend his lead even more, but things were different. Joel struggled in the Friscup portion of the event, only knocking off one out of the four cups costing him three penalty laps. But after that portion of the event he dribbled his way down the stairs, around the pool, up the stairs, and back to the porch with speed and intensity, posting a time of 3-25; solid, but not unbeatable.

Matthew performed better than Joel in the cups portion, knocking of two out of four, but he ended up spending more time in the penalty area than Joel because of dozens of misdribbles on one of the easiest portions of the course. Joel remarked afterward, "It was just weird." Matthew finally made it out of the penalty portion knowing he needed something special to comeback. He made it down the first flight of stairs with ease but on the second flight his ball took an errant bounce, flying its self into the pool. Matthew was forced to dive in after it; adding approximately 7.39 lbs. on his body, most of it being water in his shoes. Despite this drawback, the blond man made it down the stairs, around the pool, and back up the stairs in record time; putting himself back in position to take the race. But on the brick sidewalk, rounding the corner, disaster struck for the white headed man. He made terrible dribbles twice in a row, bouncing his ball down the hill and forcing him to retrieve it, costing him plenty of time, and plenty of points in the overall competition. He finished 3-46, 21 seconds behind Joel, giving Joel a 46 point win.

After maxing out in the first event, Matthew only ended up gaining 4 points on his competitor; once again putting the Match as close as it has ever been: Joel) 270 : Matthew) 265

What Went Down: 3-Point Strike

Posted by Epic Athletic Friday, July 9, 2010 0 comments

After several days of delays Matthew and Joel finally got back to the competition, hitting the court one last time for the 3-point competition. Joel had just lost his huge lead after Matthew had conquered in an Epic Basketball series; so the ripped man was looking for a little revenge on the court. He was the heavy favorite going in, as he had dominated at the 3-line during the basketball series and Matthew had been an utter failure from downtown.

The players would both shoot 5 shots from five different locations on the 3-point line for a total of 25 shots each. The format was established to have one competitor shoot his 5 from location #1, then have the other competitor shoot his 5 from the same location, and repeat until all locations had been shot from.

Well, it wasn't extremely pretty shooting. But after Matthew had shot his 25 and Joel had shot 20, his last set upcoming, the players were tied. Matthew needed Joel to miss all 5 shots to have a chance at the win. Joel missed his first, his second, even his third... Could there be a hope for the blond man? No! Joel drained shot #24 to take the lead by 1. He missed his final shot ending with only a 1-point margin of victory but still gaining the essential points and retaking the lead.

BASKETBALL COMPLETED!

Posted by Epic Athletic Friday, July 2, 2010 0 comments

Last time we left you Joel had tenaciously comeback from being down 6 - 4. The series was tied 7 - 7 with tension building like building being built. The Pinckney competitors hit the court Thursday afternoon for what could be the deciding session in the all-important basketball series. Matthew came out like an angry bee out of a beehive after being attacked by a bear. In the first game Matthew's stinger of a jump-shot numbed Joel's defensive hopes. He took a commanding lead early on and carried it the whole way through finishing the game 21 - 15 and taking a 8 - 7 lead in the series. Joel responded in the second game like an angry mother bear whose cub had just been attacked by an angry bee. He took an early lead over Matthew and in the second game threatening to tie the series once again. But Matthew wasn't going down easy. He fought back like Spartan from the movie 300. He took the slight lead at 19 - 18, only one score away from taking a 9 - 7 lead in the series. But Joel, the angry mother bear, had one more swing of the paw. He drove to the hoop but pulled up half way and blasted the ball through the hoop, putting himself a point away from winning the game. Matthew gathered himself together like a hen gathering her chicks. He looked at the ball, then looked at the hoop, as if to say, "Hello ball. I would like you to go there, please." The ball must have given him an affirmative response, because when he pulled up for the jump shot, it traveled through space and time, jumping through the circular rim like a circus animal jumping through a hoop. Matthew had won the game 21 - 20 and taken a huge 9 - 7 lead in the series.

The Pinckneys hit the court Friday for what could be the final session of basketball in the Epic

Match of 2010. Joel stood in a freakishly dangerous position, having to win three games in a row, something that no player had done in the entire series. Matthew was pumped up like a recently deflated basketball that had been ignited with air from a supersonic air pump. (R.I.P. Seattle SuperSonics) The game began with both players playing severe defense: blocking shots, getting steals, and just plain shutting downage of their opponents. Joel took the early lead with help from his little friend, the three point line. But Matthew's inner Ray Allen/Kobe Bryant/LeBron James/Stephen Curry/Gerald Henderson began to emerge. His jump shot fell like a load of bricks off the Empire State Building: hard, far, and fast. He took a late lead at 17 - 15 but Joel stood tall emotionally, so tall he resembled a post, a post that

upped, and an up that went right into the basketball hoop. The game was tied 17 - 17. Matthew responded immediately. He drove toward the hoop, faked the pull-up jumper, got Joel in the air, and stepped around for the shot. The ball bounced free of the hoop but Matthew, acting like a wild bull, leapt into the air to snatch the ball like Torii Hunter, in his prime, snatching a home-run. He immediately re-put-up the ball and this time, it fell for him. Score: 19 - 17. Matthew was one shot away from winning the series. At that point both players shot the intensity level with an injection of the intense drug. Joel was not letting go of the series easily. He came up with ginormous steals and mammoth blocks. But unfortunately for Joel, his offense was not as mammoth as his defense. He simply could not put the ball in the hoop, and that was his downfall. Matthew had

been contained for a long while and he was ready to be unleashed. He took the ball in his hand and like an utterly parched man takes pure filtered water into his stomach. The hoop stared at him as if to say, "Hey, remember yesterday when I welcomed the ball from your hands? I would love to welcome it once again. I'm feeling very hospitable today!" Matthew drove to the hole, crossed the ball from his right hand to his left, pulled it

into his hands, faked the shot, got his opponent in the air, then took the shot that captivated the world. It sailed, it slooshed, it smished, and it smacked the back of the rim, then bounced and smacked the front, the bounced and smacked the back like a the ping-pong ball in the Peyton Manning Justin Timberlake commercial for Sony. And then, as if Justin Timberlake was saying the words, "I could do this all day football star." the ball sped through the net as Justin Timberlake hot-potatoed the ping-pong paddle saying, "Ooh, Ahhh, it's on fire." And with that, Matthew unleashed the elated scream he had been longing for: "YEEEEAAHHHEEEEESSSS!!" He had done it. He had beaten Joel 10 games to 7. He had taken the lead in on the overall scoreboard, making up all the ground lost during Disc Golf.

And it was epic.

Major Props to Kennan Banks Photography for the awesome pics.

Basketball Update

Posted by Epic Athletic Tuesday, June 29, 2010 0 comments

The Competitors resumed basketball yesterday after a slight break in the action to allow Matthew's injured ankle to heal. Monday morning they hit the court to pick up where they left off in game eight, Matthew: 9, Joel: 2. Matthew put all thoughts of the recently injured ankle out of anyone's head when he expanded his lead even more making the game 15 - 2. Joel did what he could to try to get back into the game but the whole was too big and Matthew ended up taking the game 21 - 13 and extend his lead in the series making it 5 games to 3.

The second game took a quite different turn as Joel jumped out to an early lead on Matthew. Matthew fought back, even taking the lead late in the game, but Joel wasn't going to let Matthew take a three game lead in the series; he knew that would be a large deficit to overcome. He blasted forth energy and exuberance, simply out ballin' Matthew in the end and taking the second game of the day.

Though both players were tired from gut-asserting basketball, they agreed to play a third game. Matthew guts must have felt more assertive at that point because he found a way to pull the game out, giving him a 6-4 lead in the series and a pretty good feeling about the way things were going.

Well, the good feelings Matthew had after Monday's games were utterly obliterated in the Tuesday morning games. Joel drove on Matthew like Matthew was one of those junkyard cars in a monster truck arena and Joel was the monster truck. Matthew's jump shots looked like they were being shot by ostrich, and most importantly, Joel hit threes like he was hitting something that's really easy to hit. Joel took the first game 21 - 13, and after that shameful defeat, Matthew gathered himself mentally. His shots still weren't falling but he was able to post up well in the second game and he started driving to the hoop more efficiently. Most importantly though, Matthew's defense picked up in the second game. The two were neck and neck the whole way. Joel had a slight lead at 19 - 18 but Matthew posted up like nobody's business, taking the lead 20 - 19. Joel dribbled slowly outside the 3-point line as if he were about to make a move inside. He took one step towards Matthew but quickly reversed motion and pulled up for the 3-pointer, something Matthew was unprepared for seeing as Joel only needed 2 points for the win. The shot flew through the air like a Canadian Goose on it's way to Canada and gave the net a kiss on it's way through the hoop. Unbelievable. Matthew had lost two games straight and Joel had tied the series.

But the competitors weren't done for the day. About 6:30 they hit the court for another session, Matthew hoping to redeem himself. He looked good in the first game, taking mostly high-percentage shots and being efficient on defense. In the end he pulled a close game out, regaining the lead in the series.

The second game was more intense then a game between the inhabitants of intenseville. Matthew feeling that if he could win the game he would have the series. Joel utterly shut down Matthew's lanes to the hoop so the big man began taking more jump shots. They fell like a leaf on an autumn day; graceful and beautiful. Joel played harsh, quick, and low to the ground; getting to the hoop on some monster-truck-like drives and nocking down threes as if they were bowling pins and his middle name was "Strike". The two were locked at 13 - 13 when Mr. Joel Strike Pinckney struck twice in a row, putting him at 19 and leaving Matthew at a seemingly uncomebackable 13. But the big man kept his cool. With tenacious defense Matthew shut down Joel's attack just long enough for him to knock down a jumper for breakfast, post-up for lunch, and taking a drive for a lovely picnic dinner. The game was tied at 19 - 19 in a game as monumentally colossal as something so monumentally colossal I can't even find words to describe it's monumentally colossalness. Joel took the ball. He drove for the hoop but Matthew closed the lanes like he was doing road work ahead. So Joel attempted to post up, but Matthew read him like the Reader's Digest and shut down the post. The ball fell to Matthew with a chance to take the game. He faked right, dribbled between his legs and shot left. Joel wasn't fooled. Matthew went for the shot anyway but it fell off target. Joel rebounded. He dribbled behind the three-line and pulled up like he had just a few games ago. Matthew was expecting it this time and got a hand right in front of Joel's eyes, making the shot very difficult. Matthew rebounded, took the ball back, and pulled up a jumper while Joel was off-guard. The shot was off-target. Joel rebounded. He paused at the three-line and then shot for the hoop like an arrow from the bow of Russell Crow playing an unassuming Robin Hood. He had a step on his competitor so Matthew, knowing the game was on the line, fowled him as he put the shot up. Joel called "OH! Foul!" as he stumbled beyond the hoop. But little did Joel know, the free-throws would not be necessary. The The backboard was kissed lightly and then the ball, as if it and the net were lovers, separated from each other for countless years, running through pasturelands of green, leaping into one another's arms, and shouting for joy, fell through the rim and into the caressing strings of the long-lost-lover-net. Joel had just won the game 21 - 19, dead-locking the series at 7 - 7.

Anything could happen folks.

Breaking News! Injury Stalls Epic

Posted by Epic Athletic Friday, June 25, 2010 0 comments

Yesterday morning Matthew Pinckney was feeling good, he was leading the important basketball series 4 games to 3, and he was playing perhaps his best game yet, ahead of Joel 9 - 2 and in control of the game. But things took a solemn turn for Matthew and the Epic competition as a whole very quickly. Matthew drove to the hoop in attempts to extend his lead and in the midst of that drive he went to change directions attempting to avoid Joel's defense. As he cut to his left his foot betrayed him, rolling over onto it's side. Matthew, in mid cut, couldn't stop his massive momentum and his foot was crushed into the asphalt, twisting over in a stomach churning fashion. He fell to the ground and grabbed the ankle, unable to contain the blood-curdling shrieks of pain. He quickly regained composer and got up, attempting to walk it off. When he thought he could contain the torment and go on playing he asked for the basketball, "Let me test it," he said. He took the ball and ran as if he were driving to the hoop, then attempted to pull up and shoot, but it was in vein. His ankle failed him, biting his nerves like a ravenous wolf after catching his helpless prey.

The game was called, Matthew issued: unable to compete, and the two returned to the home were Matthew immediately got ice on the wounded body part. The ankle swelled later that day and causes pain when walked on, but Matthew has assured the media that it will have no long term effects on his competitiveness in Epic. The competition will be delayed for at least a few days until the pain subsides, and then the competitors will pick up where they left off.

Stay tuned.

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